Lunch Break Blog
Yesterday we had a birthday party for my son at a bowling alley. I was in charge of making sure the kids went up in the correct order on my lane (two lanes of four of five kids). My wife took some pictures and some of them were live photos so they have some movement in them.
There was one photo of me and I look grotesque. Hunched back (from Akylosing Spondylitis), overweight, moving stiffly, ostomy on my abdomen clearly visible for all to see.
It was a shock. I mean I know I have some health issues but I have had to convince myself I am all good in order to keep on trucking. I don't have time for pity parties. I can't stop and think of what a freak I am. I need to live my life and set a good example for my son. There was a time when I wasn't like this and I hold on to it.
Meanwhile, I have now seen myself the way others must see me. That look in their eye is pity. Or disgust, I guess. I don't know. What they don't see is a normal person. I am way too far from the middle of the bell curve for that. The question now is what can I do about it?
Stretching – been neglecting this for MONTHS. It helps with my posture. I am going to do my stretches and some push-ups right after this and before I get back to work. It only takes five minutes.
Weight loss – sigh – I have been doing IF (going from 10pm until noon the next day, if I can) but I need to extend the window and eat less inside it. I'd like to cut out nighttime snacking altogether meaning I am going from 7pm until noon or something. I am going to do my best. I would also like to maintain it on weekends, although that is very difficult from a social/family view point. I'll see how I do.
Clothing – what the hell can I do to hide my ostomy. It is blatantly obvious. Losing weight might help. It must gross people out or freak them out. I guess I can wear hoodies all the time, except when it is really, really warm out.